Ten Years Ago: When Love I Had
64I am mourning the loss of an eleven year relationship. All the plans and dreams we built together, the hopes we had for our future together are swept away by the simple fact that my partner fell in love with someone else.
Our extended family - brother, sisters, nieces, nephews, parents, in-laws and out-laws - all must now be sundered and drawn carefully apart. No harsh words, no choosing sides, no more shared Christmas lists and festive gatherings.
Polite for the most part, our concourse has shrunk to the banal, the safe. Our lives are divided into neatly labeled boxes, yours and mine. Our futures are not divided - they're shattered into fragments, all the bright dreams shattered on the floor of our lives like so many tiny shards of colored glass.
But I don't want to be polite. I want to wail and sob. I want to scream at you and hurl my pain in your face. You betrayed me. You betrayed our love. You betrayed the vows we shared, the promises we made to one another.
Someday, I will be ready to move on. Someday, my heart will be ready to let go of you, and welcome a new love. Someday, I will be ready to accept the benison of peace
I know there will again be light and love and the rebirth of hope.
Just right now though, I want you to feel how deeply you have hurt me. In the words of a song that speaks to me right now, "I'm not ready to make nice; I'm not ready to back down; I'm still mad as hell..."
When love had I, and light and and life;
Then forward looked and planned and dreamed;
But look I back and light now flies,
No hope to lift, no dreams now guide
Once builded for the yet-to-come,
One perfect path, one blended goal;
Then bent our will we both, to lean
Each on the other's potent dream
But strength alone of love can fail
When other's fancy elsewhere turns;
So you from me have turned, and so
Where then shall I?
Now mourns my soul for love once lived;
Now backward dwells all thought, and plans
Cut off from me now live with you,
No longer mingled, no more mine
Yet backward glance no balm can bring,
Stale ashes stain the dregs of love;
No warmth to joy, no faith to lead,
Bitter the cup with acrid lees
An ode, an elegy perhaps;
A gentle drift of scent and sense
Steals soft upon my wounded heart,
And haven lends from stolen dreams;
Ten years ago or ten years hence
Moves on my life in days and days;
New love will come, new dreams, new joys
And homeward I will, too, again
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A well written poem to a lost love but with hopes for a good future. If this is based upon a real experience, then my best of wishes to a lasting future relationship.
Bitter/sweet Redelf, very well expressed, loved it
Thank you, LowellWriter - I enjoy the cahnce to express my feelings in poetry, so I went back for a second drink at your well of questions.
Peggy W, I accept your well-wishes with gratitude. We live in hope...
Thanks, Hawkesdream - glad you liked it. Always a pleasure to have you drop by.
Beautiful RedElf! Really Beautiful, you and I have similar hearts. I do appreciate you!
Thanks so much Candie V. I always appreciate your visits and your comments. I feel the same way.
Passionate and honest....thanks! :)
Thanks so much, Tom. It means a lot to know there are so many poetry appreciators out there.
Bravo! Well done... I don't usually gravitate to poetry. But this is beautifully done.
Beautiful poem...just loved it. Keep up da good work
Thanks so much jayb23, So glad you liked it.
...and thank you too, Nanny J.O.A.T., it is always a pleasure to have you stop by. ..and always lovely to hear my ideas are accessible.
I enjoyed reading your poem :) would appreciate you reading mine.
Thanks
Well now, how have I missed you this long time? How did our paths so elude? Nice bit of poetry you have and what a profile too. Ah, so we now have met and you must visit a fat poet sometime. You're quite impressive ya know?
This is an exceptionally beautiful poem! I love the uplifting ending. :D
You just fast forwaded my life; thankyou for unknowingly aiding me in a very difficult decision! :)
Well met, sir ralwus. Thank you so much for finding me :), and many thanks for your words. I shall indeed visit - how could I refuse such a gallant invitation?
Thanks k@ri - we live in hope.
Thanks so much, nazishnazism. I am glad you found something of help here.
this is just lovely and I certainly know these emotions. I love your poetry style here, the semi-formal.
Thanks so much, Iðunn. I am pleased you could relate to the feelings and enjoyed the poem.
Painful but uplifting in the end. It's my first read, lookin forward to read more of your poetry :)
Thanks so much, blaise25. It was a painful time. So glad you liked the poetry.
A difficult situation to overcome. I admire your ability be so open and expressive about this really difficult time in your life. Two thumbs up.
Thanks so much, donotfear. I really appreciate your checking out so many of my hubs! I'm still working on the overcoming part ;)
That was so touching and I can completely relate - Beautifully written.
Thanks so much. It was really tough at the time, but life goes on...and on, and on, ;) Seriously, thanks for your kind words.
Love comes, love goes - that is the cycle of love. Very impressive poem about lost love...
Thanks so much, Moulik Mistry. It was an impressive love when it all began... ;)
You are a great writer
Thanks so very much, Damiensmommy. You are most kind to say so.
Both the introduction and the poem are beautiful: honest and hopeful. It's brave and truly touching. Thanks.
ainehannah, thanks so much. I find poetry really taps into the emotion of a thing more than prose - at least that's how it works for me ;)
There is nothing more beautiful or painful than love.
The hardest part of love lost is life lost. Friends, family must all be divided and separated. It is a harsh part of love lost, and one which I didn't realize the impact of until after a divorce (20 years of my life.... woosh).
Thanks for a beautiful poem.
Namaste.
Thanks, Deborah. You certainly hit that one right on the head. It feels like everything you knew has changed or vanished in the space of a breath.
Keep writing, very heartfelt poem.
Thanks so much, DustinsMom! I'm so glad you enjoyed the writing.
This was beautiful and sad. The pain of an ending relationship, especially when it was not of your own doing can be devastating. You really hit the emotion of this in your hub. I hope the best for you and that you again find that hope for love again. :-)
Thank you so much, Lady_Tenaz. I hope so, too.
LowellWriter 2 years ago
Beautiful poem. Best wishes for future luck in love. Thank you for answering my request! :o)